the best way to predict the future is to create it.

i think i got this from a skin care commercial but still, very true.

current wants

• another tattoo
• belly button piercing
• ombre hair
• black high waisted shorts
• some new clothes in general
• studded heels and or flats
• a six pack
• to float the river
• go on a camping trip by the lake
• an enjoyable part time job
• someone to love on

what is it that i want?

i want to make a tumblr post about it.

but i can’t even compose my thoughts, or explain how i’m feeling.

but that’s just me being complicated, and i’m not sorry for that.

i don’t know if i really do have what it take to make it as a graphic designer.

mid semester doubts.

i lost my iphone aka my life.

but i am behind on my homework though…

an update.

welp the past week has been crazy stressful. long story short, the money i had to pay my classes with wasn’t available yet, so i was at risk of getting my classes dropped. miraculously, a solution came up and everything’s fine now. this whole scare could have been easily avoided so i did it to myself. of course i would stress about it, but most times i was unusually clam about the situation. my roommate puts it as “it’s not like you don’t care, you just know everything’s gonna work out.” although i dont like being blindly optimistic, it’s one way of putting it.

i’ve realized in that situation that i’m very stubborn when it comes to asking for help from my parents. i’ve always been an independent person. i feel like these things, i should be able to stay on top of them, and that asking for help is just proof that i’m not ready for it. but it’s okay to ask for help sometimes, and i’m so grateful for my parents for supporting me. 

i’ve been running low on spending money so i got a new job at a restaurant thats doing a reopening at a marina on canyon lake. the view is amazing out there, i think i’m gonna have a lot of fun at this place. it’s suppose to be a pretty big deal, they’re suppose to have the food network come at their grand opening so that’s exciting! my future manager said that they get pretty good traffic in the spring and summer so i’m expected to bank on tipssss.

so sadly, with all the bills that had to get paid, my camera fund is depleted ): but thinking about it now, i really don’t NEED a new camera, i just want one. i already have a working digicam and i’m guilty for taking most of my pictures from my iphone now. plus, i picked up an intro to traditional photography class to get more hours that’ll count towards my degree. we’re only black and white film and developing and printing are SO time consuming but i’m really enjoying this class so far! it really shows me how little of photography i really knew before. i’m learning a lot so maybe when i do i have the money for a new camera, i would be able to get more out of it(:

i was actually going to use my tax return to buy that camera, but now i want to save it for more important things. i am definitely using some of it and maybe reward myself with something not as expensive as the olympus pen ep3. i do owe my friends a night out so that i will do possibly this weekend. it’ll be a good way to celebrate a productive week(:

just thought i’d take time out of my crazy drunk party life to let you know that that’s just not the case. i attend college on the weekdays, come home to my family on the weekends and go to the karaoke bar with my friends. some of y’all are making my life sound a lot more extravagant than it is. but fuck y’all anyways, i don’t really give a fuck and i’m gonna “party” if i want to because i love to celebrate my accomplishments like getting on the dean’s list and acing my exams. suck ooooonnnnn that.

Here’s some weird and personal questions, you down?:
affirmative.

Can you call your ex without it being awkward?:
uh i could make it not awkward.

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed on the lips?:
yes.

Will you be in a relationship one month from now?:
probably not.

What about 2?:
… yes.

Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed?
yes.

Is your room ever clean?:
all day every day.

Do you drink bottled water?:
yes.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned?:
i never really planned anything so i don’t know.

Do you hate the last person who called you?:
no. the person i hate would nott be calling me.

What are you listening to at the moment?:
lord knows.

Think back five months ago, what was your relationship status?:
single as fuck.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?:
i really wanted to get shit faced.

If you are being extremely quiet, what does that mean?:
i have nothing to say, it’s awkward, or i’m just thinking.

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?:
i think the last time i held hands with someone was when i was shaking their hand cause i was meeting them for the first time. so no.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single?:
yes.

Do you remember the person you first kissed?:
crystal.

When was the last time you cried?:
not too long ago.

Why was that?:
pam and jim got married!!

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?:
play tiny tower.

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone?:
i’d still be down.

Do you currently have feelings for anybody?:
not really. feels good actually.

Did you mean it when you said “I love you” last?:
yes.

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?:
yeah because people think they know what’s up and who i am. fools.

List three things near you: 
lighter, sebastian, iphone.

What was the last thing you watched on TV?:
i just want my pants back.

Is your birthday soon?:
nah.

Do you like the color green?:
it’s the color of money, weed, and greed. but i don’t judge so yes.

Do you like winter?:
you mean this texas streak of crappy muggy weather? not so much anymore.

What are you scared of most?:
isolation, rejection, and super loud noises.

Have you ever given out your number and then regretted it?:
yuuuuupp.

Do you curse a lot?:
i do, i have a pretty rude mouth.

Who do you wish was with you at the moment?:
joeyyyy :3

How many pillows do you sleep with?:
technically two.

Are you drunk?:
a little buzzed actually!

What was the last song you listened to that made you cry?
i honestly don’t remember ):

Name a weird song.:
that pit bull song with the levels remix. weird in a bad way. he butchered the song too.

A song you never get sick of?:
mariana’s trench -august burns red

Could you survive without electricity?:
probably not. i would kill myself from being so bored. unless i get to the beach somehow, but that requires electricity too?

Without saying any names what is one thing that you would like to say to someone?:
you need the hugest reality slap across your face.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?:
honestly i could, but rather not.

Are girls too dramatic?:
hell to the yes.

Does the thought of marriage scare you?:
kinda? cause who the fuck is that gonna be?

What were the last words you spoke out loud?:
ha ha.

Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present?:
like seriously drunk and not just buzzed, yeah probably. but i wouldn’t even drink that much in their presence.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?:
austin and waikiki

Would you date someone who lived in another state?:
no.

Where is the person you last texted?
the complex next door.

Who is someone that you would do anything for?:
mom.

When’s the last time you said you were fine, but really weren’t?:
idk i don’t remember these things.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?:
today.

Who did you spend your summer with last year?:
the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst.

What did you wake up to today?
phone alarm.

Do you believe true love can conquer anything?:
meh don’t ask me.

Did you wear what you are wearing today for a specific reason?:
no.

What was your favorite game as a kid?:
pokemon on gameboy, pokemon snap, mario party/kart/super.

Did you eat a cookie today?:
nope.

What was the last thing you ate?:
coffee candy.

What’s bothering you right now?:
i’m comfortable in bed already but i have to get up to get ready for bed. and i’m not drunk enough.

Have you lost friends in the past year?:
yes.

Have you ever laid on a bed and stayed there for no reason at all?:
yes.

Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out?:
yeah.

What does the last text message in your inbox say?:
anytime (:

If the person you’re dating said they were falling in love with you, what would you do?:
who am i dating?

Tell me about the shirt you’re wearing?:
its comfy.

it’s the last day of winter break already ):

an end to a very epic one to say the least(: 

life is pretty awesome right now.

BBC.

winter…

has grown to be my least favorite season. i’m actually starting to hate this time of year. everyone being jolly and shit, posting pictures of all their glorious christmas presents, statuses about being merry happy, and not just that but fucking cudding next to their one and only by the fire cause baby its fucking cold outside.

i’m fucking jealous of all of y’all. i feel like ebenezer scrooge. yeah i’m bitter as fuck.

skylarnowell:

I’ve been so upset lately with everyone. I just need a pick me up. I need to go out.